After my husband's death,
the physical and emotional pain I suffered opened a hole in my heart to see
and feel things on a deeper level. I found myself noticing strange and subtle
occurrences.
While I sat at a
stoplight, a white feather descended from nowhere and landed on my windshield.
I jumped out of my car and was determined to grab the white feather and hold it
in my hand. Another day, while walking in the park, I sat on the bench I shared
with my husband, birdwatching. A little bird came and perched next to me and
stared at me. I carefully examined the bird as it moved its head back and
forth. It was as if the bird was talking to me. I believed it was my husband
sending me a sign from heaven. Though I thought I was going crazy, I was not.
Then again, maybe I was. Another time I felt blue and decided I would use what
energy I had to dress and go to my favorite restaurant to have lunch. I drove
to the restaurant sat in the parking lot, afraid to go in and sit alone. But,
somehow, I summoned the courage to walk through the doors alone. I sat near a
window, and the table had a beautiful floral centerpiece. As the waiter took my
order, I felt something hit my ankle. When the waiter left, I slowly bent over,
and there was a nickel near my ankle. I picked it up and smiled. I knew then it
was my husband telling me I would be OK.
There are signs
everywhere. We need to learn to stop our busy brains and acknowledge the signs
our loved ones are sending us. I have become a witness to seeing and
acknowledging these signs on my life journey. It has made my faith stronger and
resilient. I remember my mother saying, "seek adventure everywhere you go,
but remember, you must see and feel with your heart to experience it."
Most of us just exist daily. Some of us have not learned to leave our baggage
behind, and it has become a security blanket that holds us down. Some are blind
and unable to visualize the world differently because they were trained only to
see in front of them. I will never allow myself to root in one place, the world
is so big, and there are so many adventures waiting for me.
It's been three years
since my husband's death, and I have learned to love every part of myself, the
quirky side, birdwatcher, wildflower pod picker, nature lover, and writer. I
also have learned to be patient with myself, go to a restaurant, movie, and
park alone. Take my country drives and picnics every Sunday as I did with my
husband. Though he is gone, he will always have a special place in my heart.
Whenever I think of my husband, I know he will send me a sign from above to
guide and protect me because he is my angel in heaven.
To read more of Poppy's short stories, click on the link below.
https://www.amazon.com/Poppy-
